deal or no deal

they say the greatest inspirations come from the toilet, and i think i just had one while i was pooping.

your journey with God is sometimes like the gameshow deal or no deal. there's a box next to you that possibly contains 250,000 bozingos, and you choose some boxes to open, and then the dealer comes and offers you a choice of settling for less, or risk getting even lesser if you unfortunately open a case containing $$$250,000.

so in life sometimes it's like that. all you hear is the gruelling silence when you consult God on an opinion, and you wonder if you just missed what he said. So a bad habit i've developed over the years is to choose the lesser option. I just settle for whatever train that comes, thinking well at least this train came.

Then you hear stories like Joseph (with the technicolor coat), where God seems to go as opposite as you can go with what he envisioned his life to be like. and after being backstabbed, shipped out, backstabbed again, jailed over many decades, he finally became prime minister and lived his vision.

I also recently read about Walter Ciszek and i really admire him for staying true to his beliefs despite his "Josephian" life story..


and the funniest thing is that we KNOW the $$$$$250,000 is in our box (though not necessarily in cash), we still choose to settle for less. thankfully we get to choose to come back into the game.

it's a convoluted world..

at least that's how it is in my world now. sometimes miscommunication can be so costly. and because you didn't say yes people assumes a no when u're actually doing the silence-means-consent..

maybe like neo did (tho he was blind/blindfolded at that time) see the light above the dark clouds in matrix 3, one day we all can see how the world really is, and when all is light there is no room for shadows..

friday morning..

i'm sleeping in later than usual, the kitchen ran out of bread and i'm wondering what can go with tuna, and i feel good! the past few days been crazy.. haven't had a weekend since 2 weeks ago, and i'm not gonna have my weekend this weekend.

anyway victor wooten's coming to town! does anybody wanna go watch?

it's so sad that big artistes will never come to Singapore. U2, for one, will never come unless we change some laws. I was watching a switchfoot video the other day, where jon was apologizing for not being able to let everybody watch, and he said they'll try to play at a bigger place next year. AND when they came to Singapore, it wasn't even half-filled!! kids that like switchfoot might find tickets to expensive (adults too), and older ppl are more likely to less fanatic.

i hope PARAMORE comes soon!!

ok i'll go a-hopping to look for a more productive use of time already..

peace out!

i was quite close..

to not being able to write today's and yesterday's post!

got this from wikipedia

The following lists the effects of alcohol on the body, depending on the blood alcohol concentration or BAC.^[4][5][6] Remember that tolerance varies considerably between individuals.

Please note: the BAC percentages provided below are just estimates and used for illustrative purposes only. They are not meant to be an exhaustive reference; please refer to a healthcare professional if more information is needed.

• Euphoria (BAC = 0.03 to 0.12%).
  • Subject may experience an overall improvement in mood and possible euphoria.
  • They may become more self-confident or daring; they may become more friendly or talkative, and/or social.
  • Their attention span shortens. They may look flushed.
  • Their judgment is not as good — they may express the first thought that comes to mind, rather than an appropriate comment for the given situation. See: in vino veritas
  • They have trouble with fine movements, such as writing or signing their name.

• Lethargy (BAC = 0.09 to 0.25%)
  • Subject may become sleepy.
  • They have trouble understanding or remembering things, even recent events. They do not react to situations as quickly.
  • Their body movements are uncoordinated; they begin to lose their balance easily, stumbling; walking is not stable.
  • Their vision becomes blurry. They may have trouble sensing things (hearing, tasting, feeling, etc.).

• Confusion (BAC = 0.18 to 0.30%)
  • Profound confusion — uncertain where they are or what they are doing. Dizziness and staggering occur.
  • Heightened emotional state — aggressive, withdrawn, or overly affectionate. Vision, speech, and awareness are impaired.
  • Poor coordination and pain response. Nausea and vomiting sometimes occurs.

• Stupor (BAC = 0.25 to 0.40%)
  • Movement severely impaired; lapses in and out of consciousness.
  • Subjects can slip into a coma; will become completely unaware of surroundings, time passage, and actions.
  • Risk of death is very high due to alcohol poisoning and/or pulmonary aspiration of vomit while unconscious.
  • Loss of bodily functions can begin, including bladder control, breathing, heart rate.

• Coma (BAC = 0.35 to 0.50%)
  • Unconsciousness sets in.
  • Reflexes are depressed (i.e., pupils do not respond appropriately to changes in light).
  • Breathing is slower and more shallow. Heart rate drops. Death usually occurs at levels in this range.

• Death (BAC more than 0.50%)
  • Can cause central nervous system to fail, resulting in death.

i'm NEVER drinking this much again..

i'm never drinking too much again

yesterday we went for jeff's wedding dinner, and i got wasted. the feeling sucks man. this morning when i woke up my heart was still racing until i had my lunch la.. i was puking over the place it was so malu! good thing justin brought me to the toilet. and i puked on the car, and at home. my parents were so patient (this is the understatement of the year) with me. my mom was like walking this meatbag programmed to spray vomit every 10 minutes to the carpark, and all the way home. and to prove it, when i called her this morning she didn't yell at me. damn am i lucky to have my folks..

things like this you just gotta do it to the limit once, so that you'll never want to do it ever again. it was so embarrassing to see people at church today. hahaha.. well but it was fun while it lasted.