black wednesday

I knew I shouldn't have taken that afternoon nap. All my life when I take afternoon naps, I wake up feeling wasted, like i'm waking up to a world without friends, purpose and hope.

I left my wallet in bunk today. Either the 169 bus driver give chance, or he didn't notice that I didn't scan. Whichever was the case, I'm thankful for it. I was hoping to meet somebody I know when I get off, actually I was hoping to meet sgt. Leon cause I thought he gets off at the same place as me, but that didn't happen. I couldn't find any familiar faces to borrow $1 from, so i took a taxi, and it cost me $7.50 =( I'm not even pennywise, and I hope I don't be too pound-foolish, too often.

Often people say life is more than living for yourself, and I've friends who commit themselves to helping and caring for people. I have benefitted from selfless people like this myself, and I feel the obligation to pay it forward. But I can't seem to see myself doing that. All I wanna do, is just to get my girlfriend back, play drums, make music. Of course it doesn't mean I don't care about the people around me. One's life is a like tree that receives and gives, going in a full circle. I consider myself no longer a sapling, thought I still have much room to grow and many things to learn, and I have a feeling (maybe due to peer pressure) that it's time I gave of myself to helping other people. But then again, some people have been the victims of my theory testing, and I'm very afraid to assume that I'm right in many things. For now I think I'll just stay 'selfish' and make sure I don't ruin more lives than my own. The best I can do now is probably just to make my workplace a better place.

Now, back to how today can be marked as a relatively grey day. I was watching the chinese evening news, and a report said that some joker from the labs in taiwan said that sleeptalking, sleepwalking, or generally just the lack of sleep, can have many harmful effects on people. For growing people, I'm guessing children, that can stunt their mental growth. For adults it leads to a higher level of physical stress (I don't recall if they mention mental stress), and higher blood pressure at the later parts of their lives. And there's a part which is horrifying enough for me not to tell you about. I worry that it might pertain to me, but I also don't want to retrofit into some mis-prophecy. For all we know it may be rushed out to meet some quota just like how we jc kids fake some numbers and statistics to pass PW.

I hope tomorrow does get better. What does my hope weigh, nothing more than a fool's hope, but nonetheless it's still the same hope that keeps us living from day to day.


P/S:thanks jeff for subscribing to my blog! =)